I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
