i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
