If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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