Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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