dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no you cant smoke seaweed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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