If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
