we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
