oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
