umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My cat gives me a boner
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
