My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
