ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
