yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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