guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
