The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize