I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
