Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize