Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
