I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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