There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
