Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
