He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
