party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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