i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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