No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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