you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
