i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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