38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
