bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
