my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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