I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
