You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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