Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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