I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
As shirtless as possible
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
