omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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