what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
