Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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