Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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