the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
