I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
