in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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