happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
third nipple confirmed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
