come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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