I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
