Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You've changed since you got that strap on
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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