So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
