No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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