She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
