apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
