We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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