I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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