JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I've blown a few things in my day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
