Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
