She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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