lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
