my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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