this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
