Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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