I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
