I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
