I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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