were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize