I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
